End of Year Teacher GUILT

I'm sure every teacher out there has a moment in the year where they start to think about changes for the upcoming school year...even before their current batch of students leave.  For me, this time period usually comes somewhere after spring break.  I get fixated on what can I try out for next year, obsessed with what didn't I get to that year that I wanted to, and preoccupied with looking into new ideas that might solve "problems" that I had for the current year.

As I head down the rabbit hole of thinking ahead, I get this looming feeling of...GUILT.  Yes, guilt.  I start to share some of my ideas with my students to get their feedback and I always feel guilty that they won't get to experience the amazing changes I have in store for my next group of kiddos. 

This year my "teacher guilt" was exceptionally high.  This might have been due to the fact that I hit my reflective moment WAY early this year...like, I'm talking January 😖.  Or it might have something to do with me trying out a Lego challenge on the last day, which was a HUGE hit with the kids!  Or it might have been the moment I was sharing an idea I had for next year with a group of students and one girl responded with, "Wow, I wish I got to take your class next year.  No fair!"  Yep...it was that last one. Hearing her feel like she missed out on something really helped the guilt to set in.

Every year I use my current students to experiment on new ideas during the last quarter and this year was no different.  I plan on gamifying my whole course next year and I wanted to get feedback on a few ideas I had for my game, so I shared them with a small group of girls.  The excitement on their faces told me I was heading in the right direction.  They even offered to add to my time travel game theme by volunteering to dress up and come back to "perform" in my class next year, which is an AWESOME idea and I might actually take them up on their offer.

Anyways, as I was thinking about this guilt that I feel each year I realized something.  It is all the challenges and obstacles that I encounter with my students throughout the year that leads me to trying new things for future students;  and when I look back on my past years I realize that my students are essential to driving me to be a better educator.  They have inspired so many amazing instructional decisions throughout the years and even though I feel guilty that not all my students get the same experience, they are the ones that shape the experiences in my classroom.  They give awesome feedback.  They make me take risks.  They ultimately make me better.  I look back on what had to be one of the most challenging years of my teaching career and I want to say thank you to my students.  The challenges they gave me this year have inspired my to take my biggest risk yet and I am so grateful for them...guilt in all 😉.