End of Year Teacher GUILT

I'm sure every teacher out there has a moment in the year where they start to think about changes for the upcoming school year...even before their current batch of students leave.  For me, this time period usually comes somewhere after spring break.  I get fixated on what can I try out for next year, obsessed with what didn't I get to that year that I wanted to, and preoccupied with looking into new ideas that might solve "problems" that I had for the current year.

As I head down the rabbit hole of thinking ahead, I get this looming feeling of...GUILT.  Yes, guilt.  I start to share some of my ideas with my students to get their feedback and I always feel guilty that they won't get to experience the amazing changes I have in store for my next group of kiddos. 

This year my "teacher guilt" was exceptionally high.  This might have been due to the fact that I hit my reflective moment WAY early this year...like, I'm talking January 😖.  Or it might have something to do with me trying out a Lego challenge on the last day, which was a HUGE hit with the kids!  Or it might have been the moment I was sharing an idea I had for next year with a group of students and one girl responded with, "Wow, I wish I got to take your class next year.  No fair!"  Yep...it was that last one. Hearing her feel like she missed out on something really helped the guilt to set in.

Every year I use my current students to experiment on new ideas during the last quarter and this year was no different.  I plan on gamifying my whole course next year and I wanted to get feedback on a few ideas I had for my game, so I shared them with a small group of girls.  The excitement on their faces told me I was heading in the right direction.  They even offered to add to my time travel game theme by volunteering to dress up and come back to "perform" in my class next year, which is an AWESOME idea and I might actually take them up on their offer.

Anyways, as I was thinking about this guilt that I feel each year I realized something.  It is all the challenges and obstacles that I encounter with my students throughout the year that leads me to trying new things for future students;  and when I look back on my past years I realize that my students are essential to driving me to be a better educator.  They have inspired so many amazing instructional decisions throughout the years and even though I feel guilty that not all my students get the same experience, they are the ones that shape the experiences in my classroom.  They give awesome feedback.  They make me take risks.  They ultimately make me better.  I look back on what had to be one of the most challenging years of my teaching career and I want to say thank you to my students.  The challenges they gave me this year have inspired my to take my biggest risk yet and I am so grateful for them...guilt in all 😉.

Game On!

It may not be too surprising that this post comes after a year and half "unplanned" hiatus.  I think as educators we get excited about sharing our ideas and get inspired, that we jump in with both feet on new ideas...well maybe that's just me :D   I am definitely a trier.  I like to try out ideas before I truly implement them, both in my classroom and in my life.  This blog is no exception...but I'm back to reflect on my year and on my next inspired idea - GAMIFICATION!

At the beginning of this school year, I remember attending a conference and feeling really overwhelmed with all the amazing ideas I was hearing from a breakout session on personalized learning.  I loved the experiences the presenters shared about transforming their own classrooms into a learning environment that allowed their students to learn and grow at their own pace and in their own learning styles.  After leaving the session I realized that I had been using some of the strategies they shared.  I was suddenly obsessed with how could I take all the great teaching strategies I was currently using with my students and develop my own classroom into what the presenters shared.  I sat down and started creating a list --- Things I've Tried --- Things I Want to Try.  Remember, I said I was a trier, so of course there were new things I wanted to implement for the new school year.

I then went through the list and starred anything that I wanted to keep:  interactive notebooks, sketchnotes, flexible seating, I Can learning goals, rate your words vocabulary, innovation labs (genius hour inspired exploration), your choice board.  I also starred three things I wanted to try: an affirmation wall, bell ringer journals, and a badging system.  This was my plan for the 2017-2018 year...I left feeling confident, inspired, and ready to tackle the year!  

Then...the year happened.  

This school year was my 9th year of teaching at my current school and undoubtedly one of the most challenging.  As the year wore on, my motivation and enthusiasm for teaching wore out...don't get me wrong, I LOVE TEACHING.  However, this was just a tough year overall and the lack of motivation and enthusiasm I was experiencing was a direct reflection of what my students were also experiencing.  There were definitely small successes throughout the year, but as a whole, I was ready for the end and it was only February...yikes! 

This brings me to gamification.  I had researched the topic before but pushed it aside thinking that it was too big of an idea and even though I like to try new things, this was just outside my comfort zone.  I pondered the idea for a few weeks and about three weeks before spring break I decided to plan a gamified mini unit.  I "borrowed" the Angry Birds theme and applied it to an engineering unit.  It wasn't the most organized unit and I created a lot of things along the way but...I saw something in my students for those 2 weeks that was missing from the previous months - a constant drive of excitement!  I knew I wanted more.

 

And here I am...one-week left in the school year, pages and pages of notes on gamification, and a killer theme for my own classroom game.  I can not wait to sit down and start building my game for next year!  I feel inspired by all the blog posts, podcasts, twitter conversations, and book (yes, 1 book.  Explore Like a Pirate by Michael Matera) that I have been devouring on this new to me topic.  I hope this very long post is the first of many to come on my new adventure and I invite anyone who is listening to join my on my journey.  I can't wait to see how the next couple months play out as I prepare for my 10th year as middle school teacher --- Game On!